We meet many parents who complain that their children are not behaving well enough. “They do not obey” “She opposes all the time!” “He speaks badly” “She answers.” However, we often find that parents themselves centers only on negative behaviors and use negative language regardless of themselves. How to do it now to put positive behavior first?
Speak and Act Positively
Thanks to numerous studies in positive psychology and neuroscience, we now know that form determines the substance. So our brain understands affirmative and positive messages much better than messages expressed in negative form. Instead of saying “do not scream”, you can say “speak more softly please,” instead of saying “do not run,” say “walk,” instead of saying “do not hit your sister” say “try to treat your sisters nicely”, etc. you ought to be concerned about their happiness as well, you can start by going on a trip with them, buying them candies and their favorite game, employing an experienced painter, for example, the home painters Toronto to display an awesome decoration in the kids room, by so doing, your kid will be happy with you and tries his or her possible best to do away with negative attitudes that will upset you.
Self-confidence is Born of Self-esteem
By defining the child by: “he is a clown”, “he is always late”, “he is the artist of the family”, “he is the intellectual”, he is enclosed in a role from which he can no longer head out and which can be very frustrating for him, even if the remark is positive. The important thing is to always judge the acts and not the person. For example, if your son destroys his sister’s doll, it’s better not to say “you’re mean” but “you broke your sister’s doll, it’s forbidden.” In the same way, to say “you made a slight mistake by doing this exercise, start over, you will get there” is much more constructive than “you are stupid or what?”. In this way, it’s not the child that is judged, but only the act that he has committed, it is much less agonizing and devaluing for him. Remember that, like you, he has the right to make mistakes.
Say No to Pressure
The goal is not to inflate the ego of his child from nothing. In this area, it is said that for the child to become conscious of his success, he needs compliments. However, too many compliments and flattery may put too much pressure on him. Critics hurt him and undermine his self-esteem, pushing him to passivity. It’s all about dosage and how to say things.
Reinforce Positive Behaviors
We often notice that, like emotions, parents pay adequate attention to the negative and disturbing behaviors of their child. Foolishness, mistakes, disobedience, opposition crises, inertia, bad words, violence are all acts that make parents react strongly. And that, children, have understood! A child who wants to attract the attention of his parents will always manage, consciously or unconsciously, to be noticed by his negative behaviors. How, then, to get rid of this vicious circle? The solution is so simple that it will seem too simple, to be honest. And yet, it works perfectly. If I want my child to exhibit positive behaviors, you will have to pay much more attention to positive behaviors than to negative behaviors.